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🔥 Limited Drop - February 2026

Cladia Ane-Marie Prudenho's
Emporium of Used Socks & Knickers

"Why buy new when you can buy experienced? Each item carries the authentic essence of Cladia herself. Lightly used. Heavily cherished."

04
Hours
20
Mins
00
Secs

* Items are "pre-loved" in the most literal sense possible

🧦 SELLING FAST     👙 AUTHENTICATED BY SMELL     🔥 AS SEEN ON NOBODY'S TV     ✨ FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER £500     🧦 NO REFUNDS, OBVIOUSLY     👃 SCRATCH & SNIFF VERIFICATION INCLUDED     🧦 SELLING FAST     👙 AUTHENTICATED BY SMELL     🔥 AS SEEN ON NOBODY'S TV     ✨ FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER £500     🧦 NO REFUNDS, OBVIOUSLY     👃 SCRATCH & SNIFF VERIFICATION INCLUDED    

The Collection

Each piece hand-selected (and hand-worn) by Cladia herself

🔥 2 LEFT
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The Monday Morning
Left sock only. Right one was lost in a Lidl car park incident Cladia refuses to discuss. Still warm-ish. Mild Wotsit fragrance.
£89 £69
SOLD OUT
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The Signature Briefs
Cladia's Tuesday knickers. Elastic slightly questionable. Comes with a handwritten note of encouragement and a hint of regret.
£149
⚡ LAST ONE
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The Full Claudia Experience
Complete matching set. Worn during a particularly emotional episode of Homes Under the Hammer. Tear stains add character. Certificate of authenticity included.
£399 £299
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The Gym Bundle
Sports socks from a Joe Wicks session Claudia gave up on after 4 minutes. Extra moist. Comes vacuum-sealed for maximum freshness preservation.
£119
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The Mystery Box
Lucky dip of 3 random garments from Cladia's laundry basket. May contain surprises. No two boxes are the same. Some items may be inside out.
£249 £199
🔥 NEW
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The NFT (Non-Fungible Thong)
Blockchain-verified. Each thong is minted on Ethereum with proof-of-wear metadata. Cladia doesn't understand it either but the price is non-negotiable.
0.5 ETH

What Our Collectors Say

Verified purchasers. Unverified life choices.

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"I bought the Monday Morning sock and it completely changed my approach to Mondays. I now face the week with confidence and a faint whiff of Wotsits."
- Dave T., Solihull
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"The Mystery Box exceeded all expectations. I got two socks that almost matched and something I still can't identify. Worth every penny."
- Sandra K., Croydon
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"Knocked off one star because the vacuum seal burst in the post and my neighbour hasn't spoken to me since. Otherwise, top drawer stuff. Literally."
- Anonymous, Basildon
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Smell-Verified Authentic
Each item verified by our in-house panel of 3 golden retrievers

All items come with a Certificate of Pre-Ownership and a QR code linking to Cladia's Strava (inactive since 2019)

Frequently Asked Questions

Yes, people actually ask these

Are these actually worn by Cladia?
Every item is personally pre-loved by Cladia Prudenho herself. We have GPS data, CCTV footage, and an uncomfortable amount of detail we legally cannot share.
Can I return an item?
Absolutely not. Once you've smelt it, it's yours. This isn't Primark.
Do you ship internationally?
We ship to 47 countries. Some have tried to ban us. We persist.
Is Claudia aware this website exists?
Cladia is aware of many things. Whether this is one of them remains a matter of ongoing legal discussion.
Why is the NFT thong priced in ETH?
Because pricing underwear in a volatile cryptocurrency felt like the most sensible option available to us at the time.
Can I meet Cladia?
No. But for an additional £50 we'll send you a cardboard cutout and a voice note saying "alright love".

Join the Waitlist

Be the first to know when Cladia does her next load of laundry

Cladia Ane-Marie Prudenho's Emporium of Used Socks & Knickers - Est. 2026 (regrettably)

This website is a joke. Cladia Ane-Marie Prudenho may or may not exist. No socks were harmed in the making of this site.

If you actually tried to buy something, please take a long walk and reconsider your life choices.

🧦 Built with love, poor judgement, and far too much free time 🧦